2002-11-16
It looks as though I have a new shrink. I've met with him once and have a good feeling. I got him the same way I got my last one: when the person giving the referral asks what I'm looking for, I say "someone really smart."
I suppose there are people for whom this would not be the number one criterion for a therapist. Some might want someone really nice or compassionate or nurturing or something. I'll take smart, and preferably funny, any day.
This guy came highly recommended by two people. He is in his mid-fifties, I would guess, tall and thin and mustachioed. He looks kind of like John Cleese. I felt very comfortable with him. We'll see how it goes.
The parking lot by his office is very tight. When I arrived, I was struggling to get into a narrow space. Backing up, I tapped--well, maybe more than tapped--a parked car behind me. God, the familiar adrenaline rush. I got out and looked at my bumper--nothing--and the bumper of the other vehicle. I saw nothing there, either, so I scurried off to my therapist's waiting room and read the People magazine cover story about Sarah Jessica Parker's baby's having been born.
After the session, which flew by--I gabbed and gabbed, which is of course the idea--I returned to my car, bracing myself. And there it was: a note on my windshield indicating that the car I bumped belonged to Mr. XXXX and though it appears there was only minor paint damage would I please get in touch. Ugh.
When I got back to work I called the phone number in the letter. A receptionist answered XXXX and YYYY law firm. Ugh! Of all people to bump into. Once he came on the line I was profusely apologetic. Thanked him for contacting me directly and not the police, as he certainly had every right to do. Explained that I was nervous, my first visit to a new therapist, that I'd looked and not seen any damage on his car, but that I was in the wrong, and sorry, and prepared to do what it took to make things right. He chuckled at the appropriate spots and said it was really no big deal, just a bit of paint on the bumper, nothing he'd bother fixing. He just figured in case the bumper fell off the next day it would be good to know who I was. Relief.
So where did I get the referral for the new, smart shrink? Well, I've been taking a class--it's really a series of discussions with some articles to read between sessions--at a psychoanalytic institute in the area. The topic is motherhood and creativity, and while the description indicated it was for mothers of young children, there are also some pregnant women and one who is only considering parenthood. Most of the people are therapists (they get continuing education credit for taking the class) though a few of us are not.
We've been meeting on Monday nights for four weeks now and there are two sessions remaining. We yak about everything related to this whole motherhood trip--practical stuff, emotional stuff. I'm enjoying it a lot. I compare it to the pregnancy group I was in and find this a much better match, on the whole. I sometimes come away with the sense that the others are overthinking things a bit--noteworthy since I'm usually the one accused of overthinking things--but generally I can relate pretty well to them. We might continue to meet after the six sessions are over; I think I'd like that. There are two women in particular--both are pregnant, both are therapists--whom I wouldn't mind continuing to get to know.
In addition to the mother stuff, I would like to learn more about what it's like to work as a therapist. This is something that has interested me for a long time, something I consider going back to school in order to do. (Can't remember how much I've mentioned this here.)
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