2004-06-07
Well. Lots of stuff afoot. We had a big cookout yesterday, the first time we've entertained more than one, um, unit at a time (unit being a person or a couple or a family) since moving to our house two and a half years ago. We had a total of 30 guests, including children, of which there were many. The weather cooperated and I believe a good time was had by most if not all. I'm glad we did it though I've learned that throwing a party while being parent to a toddler is a tad stressful, particularly when done in a place that boasts as many opportunities for drowning as our property does. (We were wise enough to board the dogs for the weekend; let me say they were not missed.)
The kids seemed wild about the place. Most of the older ones spent the bulk of their time on the dock B built last week, fishing. There was also badminton and general running about. It has always felt like a bit of a shame not to share our home more--it really is insanely nice, and thanks to B's handiwork, is becoming increasingly hospitable. So I'm glad we did this. But it was a lot of work, the preparation, the event itself, the post-event cleanup. Of course, B did the bulk of this work, but it can be exhausting to be around someone working so hard. (And, to be fair to myself, the bulk of the post-event cleanup fell on me.)
Meanwhile, Clay decided this would be a good week to tackle two of the major milestones on the way from babyhood to boyhood. Last weekend he started to resist wearing diapers and after a week of my explaining that he could stop wearing them when he started using the [toilet], he began to [defecate] in it. He did this twice on Saturday, once Sunday, and once (so far) Monday. Since starting, he has yet to [defecate] in his diaper. He has [urinated] in the [toilet] once, on the kitchen floor once when undiapered ("Oh, no! Pee pee!" he exclaimed to the amusement of several witnesses.)
[Terminology note: We're using less clinical terms with Clay but my sense of self requires me to limit my use of the colloquial except in direct quotations.]
Anyway, this is rather exciting. He's a few weeks shy of two and a half and until a week ago I figured he'd be at least three before he showed any interest. I've never particularly minded diaper changing; it's just never seemed like a big deal, so I was in no particular hurry. But this is kind of cool and I'm proud of him and the way he just decided he was ready and how well he is managing.
He's also eschewed both the little freestanding [toilet] we got for him and the ring that fits inside the regular toilet seat--he uses the real thing as is. He's clearly a little freaked out by the experience but seems determined. And he's very proud of himself. (There are two other boys his age at childcare, his buddies, neither of whom have begun to use the toilet--as well as two older girls out of diapers completely--so I don't think it was exactly peer pressure motivating him.)
This week he's also decided he's had enough of the crib. For a couple of nights he slept on the floor of his room. Then we fetched from our storage unit the race car bed we'd picked up at a yard sale a while back (that's product photo--Clay has not become African-American). For the past two nights he's slept in it. It's been a little harder to get him settled down and he woke up once during the night but seems to be adjusting.
I expect both of these transitions to be pretty rocky for a while but who knows, maybe we'll get lucky. I'm glad it's been his idea to make these changes. Given these developments, I've rethought my campaign to restrict access to the milk bar. It just doesn't seem right when he's tackling these other changes. Also, his initiative in these areas makes me think I should perhaps trust him a little more to know what he needs, what he's ready for.
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Finally, a reminder to myself that I want to say something about the working mother issue in general and Caitlin Flanagan in particular.
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