2003-04-30
So much going on lately. Work is busy in a good, engaging way. The weather is beautiful and I'm spending the evenings outdoors--on the deck, in the hammock, walking dogs down the front driveway with Clay toddling behind.
Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to call the agent. (A month ago she said that she didn't have time to help me figure out what the book needed but that in a month she would.) But I'm a little reluctant to because I don't know when in the world I'd find the time to do the revision.
Meanwhile, the germ warfare continues. B is currently sick and it feels like a matter of time until I, too, am felled by the cold from hell. What is it with kids and their colds? Does it ever get better? Should we not plan to breathe easily for more than a week at a time until he leaves for college?
One reason I'm in good spirits is because of a decision I made last week. Here's an email in which I tell a friend about it.
My latest news: I've decided to take a five-day (four-night)work related trip later this month. A company-wide retreat type thing. It's not REQUIRED so I initially planned to skip it because of reluctance to be away from Clay but as it drew closer, I realized I kind of wanted to go. For a variety of reasons. So now I'm planning to go and am excited but am feeling some pangs of guilt. (I'm selfish, a bad mom, etc., I hope you'll be spared this though it seems to frequently come with the territory. As one friend said, "With the child is born the guilt." Oy.)
I think it will be good for me and good for B. It will perhaps a little rough on Clay to be deprived of the boobs of life for a few days but I believe that he'll basically do fine and pick up where he left off once I return.
My SAHM friend who's never left her child for more than two hours (literally--and she felt guilty on those few rare occasions) was quite taken aback when I told her. Now I'm looking for support and blessings, so share them if you have them and if you think I'm a monster please keep it to yourself!
If you would like to offer support and blessings, please feel free to email me. I can use all that I can get.
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