2004-03-25
Once I was reading something online, some woman musing on her inability to fit in with other mothers. She characterized one group with whom she didn't fit by the fact that they wore clothing from Talbots. At the time, I rolled my eyes at her simple-minded derision of other women on such a superficial basis. I wear clothing from Talbots myself fairly often--granted, I buy it mostly second hand or occasionally new on sale--and yet I have several legitimate claims to groovy alterna-mom-hood as well.
But the other night I encountered a group of mothers that take Talbots wearing to a new level and I empathized a bit more with the writer of that piece. We arrived at this child-friendly burger place we frequent at the same time that the toniest of the local private schools was conducting some kind of awards ceremony for a young children's atheletic team. B took C to find a table while I waited in line amidst several mothers of these children. They were all such WASPs, with their tastefully lightened hair, subtle makeup, and casual but crisp attire. Next to them, I felt more unkempt than ever.
I realized in an instant that there was no way in the world we could send Clay to this school. We could scrape together the tuition if we made it a priority, and Clay would no doubt be taught by smart, stimulating teachers. But I could never willingly subject myself to years of interaction with the likes of these women.
It's not that they seemed unkind in general or that I believe they'd be unkind to me. In fact, the primary emotional vibe I get from them is one of fear and anxiety. I could be way, way off, but I sense they are very concerned--with some reason--about their, um, job security. I imagine that being the wife to a high-powered man is quite demanding. Running the household and the family social life, taking care of the children's education and activities. What a taxing job. And then there's the pressure to remain attractive, not just to the husband but in a general trophy wife kind of way. And I suspect that a fair number of them, despite their efforts, will indeed end up replaced by newer models.
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