2001-12-04
This morning I went to a La Leche League meeting. A couple of women from my pregnancy group were going and it was relatively close to the house (15 minutes) and they only meet monthly so I figured I'd check it out though I'd been planning on spending the day at home.
It was okay though not really my cup of tea. I guess there were four women there in addition to the three of us, all with babies or toddlers in tow. All were Perfectly Nice but I felt pretty antsy. The leader woman talked a lot. People were getting on my nerves. I was glad for it to end.
Maybe something will change when I have an actual infant of my own, but all this baby stuff just seems so tedious. I guess people are drawn to groups like this in order to socialize, to meet others of a potentially similar mindset; that is part of my motivation, after all. And maybe I dismiss people too quickly. Or maybe not.
There's actually this one woman I met when I was sporadically attending prenatal yoga classes who struck me as having a little more on the ball than some of these others. Or being more compatible. We exchanged phone numbers and I really ought to call her and see if she wants to get together. She had a quiet seriousness I liked; so many of these mothers I meet have this kind of glazed, blissed-out affect to which I try, unsuccessfully, to relate. They are earnest as hell, operating on this very literal level. I find their presence somewhat calming but sometimes I want to be stimulated. Is that too much to hope for?
There's another LLL group that meets in the evenings; this is apparently the one the working mothers attend. I wonder whether I'd find that group more up my alley.
I have to say that at this point, the thought of returning to work after my four months' leave doesn't disturb me much at all; I really imagine I will be ready. Maybe I'll live to eat my words, I'll get hopelessly attached to the kid and it'll wrench my heart to leave him. You never know.
This afternoon for the first time since moving here, I took a substantial (40-minute) outdoor walk. I went out our driveway to the gravel road and walked first to one end then back to the other end then back to our driveway, which is roughly in the middle. Tomorrow I'll check the mileage with the car, but I'd estimate the road is somewhere between three-quarters and one mile, making the round trip one and a half or two. It felt good to get out and exert myself a bit--part of it is a fairly steep uphill grade--after being so sedentary of late. When I got home, I got into the hot tub.
I've actually been using the hot tub nightly, after learning that any dangers of raising the core body temperature are limited to early in the pregnancy. We keep the water at around 100 degrees, comparable to bathwater, and not only is it safe at this point, it's beneficial both for aches and pains and to counter any potential swelling of ankles and such. I always felt I could take or leave hot tubs, and was considerably less motivated than B to take the necessary steps to get this one up and running. Now that it is, though, I find I use it as often as he. A nice surprise.
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