Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2000-03-01

This afternoon is my annual gynecological exam, the first time with a male doctor. When I switched jobs last fall, I switched health care plans and doctors. My previous doctor was a pleasant Diane Keaton look-alike who seemed to be in some phase of career burnout.

This new one, with whom I spent an hour or so getting acquainted in November, is hard to peg. He seemed attentive to my concerns but B's experience with him so far has been less than satisfying. He's a dead ringer for Bob Balaban, the actor who played NBC executive Russell Dalrymple on Seinfeld: slight, soft-spoken, wire-rimmed, beard.

Like my previous doctor, he's an internist who also does the GYN stuff. I'm not exactly looking forward to today's exam, but then who ever does? His being male adds a bit to my unease, but I don't want to give into that. Before finding Diane Keaton, I once had a GYN exam from a female nurse practicioner at the university clinic. Any assumptions about woman=gentleness were dashed that day: from the way she examined me you'd have thought the building was on fire.

*

Recent days have seen some upheaval in the personal lives of some of the people whose journals I read and some attendant examination of just how much of these upheavals to write about. As is obvious to anyone who's read much of this journal, I draw that line conservatively; that's what works for me. Well, this morning I dreamed I had started one of those forums that are all the rage; in it, I'd divulged all manner of personal details about my relationship with B, and was terrified that he'd see it. Mighty relieved, and a bit shaken, to wake up.

And speaking of disclosure, I'm flirting with the idea of posting a recent photo. The last time I did this journal thing, I did so and received a disappointed letter from a reader who'd preferred to imagine what I looked like; it had been like reading a novel, she wrote.

Which leads me to think about the way we form assumptions about people's appearance. When B and I first began to correspond, a week or two into it I mentioned some details and he was surprised, having formed a mental picture of me that was quite different.

If you have any ideas about what you think I look like, and you feel like telling me what they are, I'd get a real kick out of reading them. I know, I know, this is self-indulgent, but what the hell.

previous - next

join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com