2004-03-09
Yesterday afternoon after I picked Clay up from daycare he really wanted to go somewhere other than home. He suggested the library and the store, neither of which I was up for, so I suggested the playground and he went for that. We went to a different one than we've been going to recently, closer to town. It seems the proximity to town is directly proporionate to the crowdedness of the playground.
There were a couple of other mothers there with their kids. It's an odd phenomenon, this mother-kid-at-playground thing, the etiquette about talking or not. Actually, now that I think of it, the times I've gone to a playground in town there were some fathers as well and I had no conflicts about chatting with them. I think when there are only mothers I have this sense that there's a kind of ghetto of childcare or something and I resent being in it. Or something.
Anyway, it was a nice enough time, though I was underdressed and therefore cold. Clay played happily, and fairly independently, on the climbing structure and in the sand pit. And I chatted with the mothers, and it was fine, though it left me feeling vaguely wanting. As is my wont.
I'm sad about poor Spalding Gray and his family. Reading about him, the thing that strikes me is how many friends he had. Every article mentions all these people he hung out with, had dinner parties with, people who cared about him and his wife and kids. It made me kind of envious and don't get me started on the SoHo loft and Hamptons house and the artistic and commercial success. It doesn't feel right to envy a man driven to suicide but, aside from the crushing physical and psychic pain, he did have quite a bit going for him. Very sad.
Things which I'm grateful for or tickled by or whatever....
- Last night, walking the dogs after dinner with Clay, his little hand in mine. Kissing his soft, soft cheek. Pointing out the bright stars, hearing him sing his version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
- Clay's going to bed unexpectedly quickly. I took him upstairs, expecting at least half an hour of changing clothes, reading, doing puzzles. He didn't want to change into his pjs ("No jamas!"). He still wore his shoes and his jacket from our walk and wanted to sleep in them, perhaps a residual reaction to the previous night's evacuation in his pjs and bare feet. I couldn't think of any good reasons to insist that he change. So we sat in our chair and after nursing for a minute or so he asked me to turn out the light and said he wanted bedtime.
- Coming downstairs to make the sugar-free chocolate truffles I keep in the freezer at work and having a brainstorm about how to make a peanutbutter cup version and having them come out perfectly.
- Getting a call from the best friend just as I was preparing to clean the kitchen and marinate some chicken for tonight's dinner and getting to fill her in on the previous night's fire-related drama.
- Feeling happy in what I'm wearing today (jeans, black boots, gray cashmere cardigan, brown suede jacket).
�
�