2004-03-18
Been through the wringer lately with the daycare provider. At the end of my call with her on Tuesday, I said "You still like Clay, right?" My tone, as far as I knew, was joking and self-deprecating, kind of deliberating overstating the case in order to get a bit of reassurance. Her response was quite chilly; she said, "I like Clay fine."
Well, she called me yesterday morning to say that in her twenty years in this business, no parent has ever asked her whether she liked their child and that I had deeply offended her. That she likes and loves every child in her care, that she does not play favorites. That she had been up half the night trying to understand why I asked that question. That she would care for Clay from now until August but we needed to find a new place for him after that because she no longer felt comfortable working for us.
I apologized profusely, repeated. I said I felt terrible (which was true), that we were so confused by her response the one day Clay was upset about arriving and that it had us wonder if she was trying to tell us it was time for him to move on. She just kept saying "Okay." I asked if she would accept my apology and she said she would but it felt perfunctory.
My stomach churned for the rest of the day. I sought counself from a work friend, from B, from the Best Friend who happened to call in the afternoon. I got conflicting advice on what to say to her but all agreed I had to say something.
On the drive over I was really beside myself. I was praying. I had no idea what I was going to say and just hoped I could wing it. When I got inside and saw her I burst into tears. She hugged me. When I could talk, I apologized some more. She told me how much she loves Clay and that she loves me, too. She told me we were friends, that she couldn't stay upset with someone so sweet and that we need to talk more and she needs to be more sensitive. She said most people don't apologize. (Is this true?)
Then this morning, when B dropped Clay off, she said, "Helene is so sweet, and so sincere."
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