2001-12-19
Still here, still pregnant. Early this morning, around four, I felt a new sensation that seemed like it could be a contraction. I felt it several times, then got up and came downstairs and ate some almond pistachio biscotti and didn't feel it anymore.
I took another walk this morning, close to three miles, about an hour. I spent some time going through all the baby stuff I've accumulated. Yesterday my friend gave me some things that her seven-week old has already outgrown; I realize that some of the gifts I've received should remain in their packages in case I need to exchange them for larger sizes (assuming I can figure out where they came from).
I chose a couple of little outfits to take to the hospital; presumably the kid will need something to wear there and on the way home. Or maybe they give you something for the kid to wear there? They give you diapers, of that I'm fairly certain.
One interesting question about hospital apparel is whether to wear the gowns they provide or to labor in one's own clothes. To make things feel less weird and medicalized, it would be nice to wear my own, but on the tour they emphasize that things tend to get bloody so why ruin your clothes? Unless that's just part of their plot to alienate you and make you submissive. I guess I'll wait and see.
One other thing B observed: Many of the what-to-pack lists mention a bathing suit for the father in case he wishes to join the mother in the tub or shower. She can be naked, if she feels like it, but presumably he can not. Hmmm.
This is, truly, so unreal, this whole pregnancy-childbirth-parenthood thing. I've concluded that it is so massive and so bizarre that there's no way my brain can really comprehend it or prepare for it. Even the fact that we toured the hospital, that I know a lot of what will happen, barely makes a dent in the strangeness of it all.
I took no naps today, though I did sleep until 10:30, a result of having been awake from three to six. So this will be an early night for me. I will go to sleep wondering, as I do every night, whether tonight will be The Night.
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